Mixed Messages

Mixed Messages

Deepa Paul: “I wanted to belong, but the gap was too wide”

The author on beauty standards, being Indian enough and code-switching in life and love

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Isabella Silvers
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Deepa Paul
Apr 28, 2025
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Copyright: S Kafala

Hi, welcome back to Mixed Messages! This week’s guest is author Deepa Paul, who is of mixed-Filipino and Indian heritage, now living in Amsterdam. Deepa’s memoir, Ask Me How It Works: Love In An Open Marriage, is released this week and is set to be the book on everyone’s lips, as she lays bare the reality of being in a polyamorous rel…

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A guest post by
Deepa Paul
Filipina-Indian in Amsterdam (she/her). Author of ASK ME HOW IT WORKS: LOVE IN AN OPEN MARRIAGE (Viking UK, May 2025). Also mother, wife, girlfriend, lover, cat hostage and recovering people pleaser.
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