Emma Slade Edmondson: “People don’t look at me and see a half-white woman”
The podcaster and author on revelations, the importance of the broader family and mixed stereotypes
Hi, welcome back to Mixed Messages! This week I’m speaking to podcaster, author and sustainability consultant Emma Slade Edmondson, who is of mixed Black and white heritage. I’m so used to hearing Emma’s voice thanks to Mixed Up podcast (which Emma co-hosts with past Mixed Messages guest Nicole Ocran), so speaking to her felt very familiar. Hearing Emma speak left me feeling reflective, warm and hopeful, so I hope it leaves you with the same sentiments. Read her story below.
How do you define your racial identity?
When Nicole and I started doing the podcast, we realised quite quickly that nobody had ever asked us how we identify. We were speaking to Asia Jackson and I’ll never forget the way she said “I’m mixed and I’m Black.”
There was definitely a period of time where it felt like there was pushback against wanting to identify as Black if you’re mixed, and also wanting to identify as Black and mixed. It felt like there was outside pressure to choose one of them. That revelation to feel both, and be wholeheartedly both, was really a moment.
I identify as mixed-race, that’s the phrase I’ve grown up with. I know a lot of people take issue with it, but we’re definitely in flux with language. To leave race out of it is a new conversation, but it’s a system we deal with on a day to day basis, whether it’s a made up construct or not.
I think that term is still important because it speaks to the realities of what we face in our lives. I know that people look at me, especially because I always wear my afro like this, and don’t see a half-white woman. They see a Black woman, or a light-skinned Black woman.
My parents that brought me up are both white and my mum’s passed now, so I’ve been doing a bit of work on my ancestry. I’ve discovered so much about both sides of my biological heritage, and that discovery is always going to be ongoing. I’m Nigerian, according to my research.
Has your sense of self been strong over time?
The murder of George Floyd was a turbulent time, there was a lot of rhetoric online and on Black Twitter saying mixed people shouldn’t be talking about this if they were lighter than a specific Fenty shade. It was kind of unhinged. That cemented my conviction that Twitter is not a place for me.
It was a difficult time because it felt like our right to be was being questioned. I was very emotional, and sometimes I couldn't put my finger on what emotion it was. Sometimes I was downright angry, other times I was sad and lonely, without a group. Other times I felt so empowered and self-assured in who I was, with a responsibility to help everybody else who had those same questions or feelings.
I felt like standing up and being like, ‘no, I will be myself. I am mixed and I’m Black.’ That’s for me to articulate. I don’t need to caveat everything I say with [my] privilege.
All of us have the right to grieve in this situation, to articulate that, be angry and want change. I’ve definitely had moments of growth on the podcast, it makes me feel grateful to be part of this mixed group.
Do you think the podcast has expanded the way you think about being mixed?
For sure. When I started, I thought of myself as really open and tolerant to other people’s way of looking at things. But I’ve learned more tolerance and less defensiveness. Just because something isn’t my position, that doesn’t mean it’s not valuable. I've embraced more compassion for the moments that people are on in their journey.
So many people have had traumatic experiences where they've been rejected by family. It's important to realise that people's feelings are often in reaction to those experiences.
There’s definitely been episodes that I’ve been scared of doing, like an episode we did on white mothers bringing up mixed children. I thought we’d get backlash for giving white women so much airtime, but it cemented for me that being mixed is all of our stories. It’s our parents' stories, our broader families, people we don’t even know who are part of our heritage.
That’s why it’s so fascinating and rich. If we're going to have compassion for ourselves, we have to have compassion for our mothers, our fathers, our caregivers.
There are so many of us who have white mothers who have heard time and time again people shit talking our white mothers or other white mothers with mixed kids, and that really is truly lacking compassion for us as mixed people.
Talking about being mixed is a really good way of moving away from a binary approach, which is every conversation right now.
Do you think there are stereotypes that exist around mixedness?
In the UK especially, we have this stereotype of a mixed girl being light-skinned, probably from a Caribbean background with ringlets or straightened hair. That’s a visual stereotype.
Then there’s this idea which was around when I was growing up of a crazy, slightly promiscuous girl. When I was a teenager, one of my male friends told me that mixed girls tended to be pretty crazy because they don’t really know where they come from. When you’re young there’s so many moments when you don’t say anything or stand up for yourself or push back on things that are obviously offensive.
Do you think these stereotypes come from the media?
There’s perception and reality. Someone said a while back “I’m sick of seeing these mixed people on TV in every advert, but is that perception or reality? I wouldn’t say mixed people are filling the screens. It’s only recently that we’re starting to see mixed characters acknowledge their experience.
What’s the best thing about being mixed for you?
I don’t think of this in terms of myself anymore, I feel like I’m this vehicle to help people tell their stories. Maybe that’s intuitive because I’m mixed, but I am really well equipped to compassionately draw out stories and help people connect and communicate. I give them a bit of comfort, understanding and a lack of judgement.
I suppose that innate ability is because I'm mixed – I'm not one thing and not another, so I'm always coming at things from multiple perspectives and an underlying compassion for their being some kind of challenge or potential.
Can you sum up your mixed identity in a word?
Educational.
Listen to Mixed Up wherever you get your podcasts, and help support future seasons on Patreon. Pre-order Emma and Nicole’s book The Half Of It here, and subscribe to Mixed Up on YouTube here. Next week, I’ll be talking to actress Maimuna Memon. Subscribe to get Mixed Messages in your inbox on Monday.
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Mixed Messages is a weekly exploration of the mixed-race experience, from me, Isabella Silvers. My mom is Punjabi (by way of East Africa) and my dad is white British, but finding my place between these two cultures hasn’t always been easy. That’s why I started Mixed Messages, where each week I’ll speak to a prominent mixed voice to delve into what it really feels like to be mixed.