Gabrielle Dyer: “I sometimes feel lost in the mixed community”
The journalist on how environment affects identity and mixed stereotypes
Hi, welcome back to Mixed Messages! This week, I speak to journalist Gabrielle Dyer, who is of Cypriot, Danish and Jamaican heritage. When I approached Gabrielle for this interview, I had to preface my request by checking that she was indeed mixed. This racial ambiguity is something that has impacted Gabrielle’s identity, as she shared with me below.
How would you define your ethnicity?
I’ve always called myself mixed-race because that’s what my parents have said. I’m quite a big mix; my dad is Jamaican with a Scottish grandad. My mum is Cypriot and Danish. People can never put their finger on my heritage, I’m quite racially ambiguous.
Were there ever any struggles in your mixed family?
When my parents started dating, my mum’s dad forbade her to see my dad; he was quite racist. My mum chose my dad over a relationship with her own, so they didn’t speak for ten years. My mum used to get mistaken for my nanny when I was younger, too.
How have you felt connected to your cultural heritages?
We’ve been to Cyprus a lot because many of my mum’s family still live there. As for Jamaica, I went on holiday there when I was two, so I don’t remember it! My dad’s parents looked after me and my sister quite a lot when I was younger, so I was always eating Jamaican food. I am the least fussy eater.
Have you always felt at ease with your mixed identity?
Definitely. I went to a majority-white school and the girls who were considered beautiful were petite with silky blonde hair. I was so insecure because I felt like I was the polar opposite to that, lanky with these curls that I’d spend hours straightening. I didn’t think I was pretty in any way and felt like I’d never get a boyfriend!
I wonder if going to a more multicultural school could have changed this. Your environment really determines what you think is normal, especially at an age where you’re shaping who you are. It was only at university, when I saw a bigger mix of people, that I started to feel more confident.
Now, the features that I used to feel insecure about are the ones that I love.
Has finding your place in society been easy?
No, especially during the recent focus on Black Lives Matter. Some people don’t know I’m mixed-race, so I feel a bit lost in it all. I haven’t experienced racial abuse like a fully Black woman might have, so I don’t feel like I’m in a position to speak on that. But it still affects me.
Do you think there’s a stereotype of being mixed?
I think most people’s thoughts when you hear someone is mixed-race is one of their parents is Black and one is white. Maybe that’s because that’s what people are used to seeing or grew up with.
If you could describe your mixed experience in one word, what would that be?
Transformative. I’ve grown into being comfortable with myself.
Next week, I’ll be talking to Pauline Jeremie, founder of Middleground magazine. Subscribe to get Mixed Messages in your inbox next Monday!
Mixed Messages is a weekly exploration of the mixed-race experience, from me, Isabella Silvers. My mom is Punjabi Indian (by way of East Africa) and my dad is White British, but finding my place between these two cultures hasn’t always been easy. That’s why I started Mixed Messages, where each week I’ll speak to a prominent mixed voice to delve into what it really feels like to be mixed.