Jordan Alexandra: “Why does a white person get to define how I'm seen in society?”
The actor on not living in fear, choosing her roles carefully and the heartbreak of being challenged
Hi, welcome back to Mixed Messages! This week I’m speaking to actress Jordan Alexandra, who is of mixed Jamaican, Barbadian and white British heritage. Jordan is set to play Guinevere in The Winter King on ITVX later this year, and has also appeared in Boiling Point, Mammals and Grantchester. As an actor, Jordan has a lot to say on how looks impact casting decisions and the effect this has on her confidence. Read her story below.
How do you describe your racial identity?
My mum’s side of the family are from Jamaica and Barbados, then my dad’s side are from the UK. In terms of describing myself, I’ve always said exactly where I’m from. The first time I was asked where I was from I was confused – then I realised that people didn’t think I was from the same place as them.
In recent years, there’s been a big push back on some people who can be seen to be white passing or fair-skinned, or just don’t look the way people expect them to look. They’ll be told “you can’t say you're Black because you've not had these Black experiences.” I started to feel very uncomfortable publicly defining my own race, so I would then say ‘mixed-Black’ rather than the other way round, which I used to say before. You have different ways of describing yourself to different people, you always know what they're looking for.
The conversation around mixedness can be intimidating, but I think you have to face those things. There’s so many opinions from people who aren’t mixed and don’t know the experience – they have a lot to say on how we should or shouldn’t define ourselves.
Has your sense of self shifted over time?
I don’t think my sense of self has shifted, but in terms of claiming my identity, after everything with George Floyd it got harder being mixed, weirdly. People started trying to define what Blackness meant more, and became understandably more frustrated with feeling that mixed-race individuals were claiming experiences that they will never have to experience, in their opinion. How I view myself didn’t change, it just felt more difficult to be confident in it.
I’ve had a lot of experience of people telling me that I’m not Black and also not white. Even if they're not telling me with words, they're telling me very heavily with their questions. I tolerate it because I know that those people don't have malice, they’re not doing it to reject me. They don’t know how it feels to not be a singular identity or understand how heartbreaking it is to be constantly challenged on your culture and race. But it does get tedious. It hurts more when it comes from Black people.
How have you connected with Caribbean culture throughout your life?
Definitely food. My mom and family are incredible cooks. I’d also spend a lot of weekends spending time with my mum’s parents at their allotment. I also think allotments are part of their culture because in Barbados and Jamaica, you’d grow your own fruit and vegetables.
We’d go to a lot of exhibitions to understand our culture and journey to where we are today. My mum also made us watch Roots on DVD. It’s such a clear memory in my head watching the episodes with my siblings and then discussing them. We’d have very open conversations – my mum never made it feel like a lesson.
Just being around family as well – my mum has sixteen brothers and sisters, she holds the family together. Every Boxing Day we’d have big parties and she made sure we spent time with our cousins. That allowed us to have a sense of community and culture.
How has being mixed influenced the way you’ve approached your career?
It’s been difficult. It’s added to me realising how different people see me differently. Because people don’t see me as mixed because I don’t have curly hair, for a long time they didn’t want to cast me in mixed roles. When you’re constantly losing roles to people who have curly hair but otherwise look like you, and might even be fairer, it becomes very frustrating.
I don’t want to take over somebody else's identity. A lot of people want me to play Saudi or Indian characters, but that’s not my journey. I'm not here to take that away from another minority, that's not fair. I’m also not willing to play the token Black role, to put it bluntly. We shouldn’t be filling a ‘diversity’ quota, we should be creating space. The important thing is that, as minorities, we can begin to see ourselves on screen and feel represented. When productions find themselves casting non-white roles, it’s important to remember that someone that looks like me is not going to make a dark-skinned Black girl feel seen or beautiful. A couple of non-white cast members won’t make every POC feel represented, especially if the majority of these roles are filled by mixed, light-skinned individuals or favour Eurocentric features.
It's strange, why do you as a white person get to define how I'm seen in society. At the end of the day, whether you like it or not, my mom is Black and my dad is white. You just have to accept that the reality is I am mixed and let me play those roles.
Do you think there’s a stereotype of what it means to be mixed? How do you want the conversation to change in future?
People predominantly see mixed people as Black and white. You’re just grouping all mixed-race people together and interpreting them as Black and white, but they could be of any ethnicity. As mixed people, we don’t all have the same culture and experiences. The racial slurs come with different contexts and histories. Our experiences of how we’ve been racially rejected or attacked are different.
We also have this idea of mixed-race people being either fair-skinned with blonde curly hair, maybe green eyes, an ‘exotic’ mixed-race person, or someone with darker skin, curly hair and a London accent. A lot of mixed-race people code switch, we have accents for different times. When I go into an interview, all my Ts are being pronounced!
I’d like people to realise there’s not a defined way for mixed-race people to look and identify. As an adult, my biggest image insecurity is about having straight hair. I never get to see people represented in terms of their race and look like me.
I’d also like people to be more curious about what it means to be mixed, rather than telling us. As mixed people, we don’t have that sense of community or shared understanding. Yes we are privileged and might be more accepted – although that’s not in every culture – but that doesn’t mean we haven’t had our own challenges and unique difficulties. We’re not claiming to have the same experiences as other people. You actually feel very alone, so it needs to be spoken about.
What’s the best thing about being mixed, for you?
My ability to adapt – I think that comes naturally when you grow up around different cultures. That’s really helped me, even when I feel socially anxious, I trust that I’ll be able to figure it out.
It also made me curious. You don’t always know the person in front of you, why not be curious about it and understand them. I long for people to be more curious about me and about my family rather than defining it on my behalf.
As mixed people, we need to try to not let our identity attach to other people's perception of that. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what anybody else thinks. What matters is how we see ourselves. We shouldn’t live in fear of offending someone, we’re not claiming to be something we're not.
Can you sum up your mixed experience in one word?
Unity. There’s togetherness and bringing people being brought together in being mixed. Unity symbolises peace, comfort and safety, but also I feel like anything that becomes united stems from chaos, so encompasses feelings of confusion.
Catch Jordan playing Guinevere in The Winter King on ITVX later this year. Next week, I’ll be speaking to author Rowan Hisayo Buchanan. Subscribe to get Mixed Messages in your inbox on Monday.
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Mixed Messages is a weekly exploration of the mixed-race experience, from me, Isabella Silvers. My mom is Punjabi (by way of East Africa) and my dad is white British, but finding my place between these two cultures hasn’t always been easy. That’s why I started Mixed Messages, where each week I’ll speak to a prominent mixed voice to delve into what it really feels like to be mixed.
A great read, thank you for helping me feel less alone ♥️
This is an interesting interview. Mixed seems to be defined by default that one’s immediate family (mom & dad) makes one “mixed” or not. Many people are mixed by grand parents or great grandparents as well. A lot of this person’s experiences are similar to “non- mixed” people (by immediate family defined standards). I hate to say this cliche’ but we really are more alike than we are different. Lots of races code switch, lots of races don’t always feel accepted by their race or the race they identify with. I wonder if “mixed” people realize that their experience really isn’t that unique. Their experience is everyone’s plight cuz no one is 100% one ethnicity.