Louise Hare: “I don’t feel attached to one identity, I just feel like me, whatever that means”
The author on not fitting in a box, shifting terminology and a Black British perspective
Hi, welcome back to Mixed Messages! This week I’m speaking to author Louise Hare, who is of mixed Nigerian heritage. Louise was raised by white adoptive parents, and uses her experience to inform her writing. This Lovely City was a smash hit when it was released in 2020, while Louise’s new book, Harlem After Midnight, continues her sophomore story, Miss Aldridge Regrets. I was excited to hear Louise’s perspective of race and identity and why this is a vital thread through her work – read her story below.
How do you define your racial identity?
I feel very British. I don’t really have links to Nigeria. I feel like I can’t really claim that culture because I don’t know enough. I have friends who are Nigerian, so I’ve learned stuff along the way, but I don’t necessarily feel ownership of that identity.
Both my brother and I are adopted, so we’re not blood. He’s not mixed, I think both of his parents are of Jamaican heritage. When we were growing up, our parents were trying to teach us about both of those cultures in the way that they were able to. It’s definitely different to a lot of people who would say they’re British Nigerian.
What terminology do you use to refer to yourself?
I don’t care – I’ve used very many different terms to describe myself, depending on my mood and who I’m talking to. I don’t feel attached to one identity, I just feel like me, whatever that means.
Terminology also changes so often so I don’t know what word I’m supposed to be using, which is crazy! This is me, I should be able to use whatever.
The way I talk to Black people about my identity is definitely different to the way I talk to white people, because I feel the question often has different meanings. You have those microaggressions, like “where are you really from,” which you don’t get from Black people obviously. When I talk to Black people, it’s more about finding common ground rather than investigatory.
You mentioned your parents tried to teach you about your Nigerian heritage – is this something you’ve explored further as an adult?
I haven’t felt the need. As an adult, it’s up to me to decide if I want to find out, but in a way, what I’m interested in is Black British culture, especially as a writer. I felt for so long that the only Black stories you could find in bookshops were American. I love that there’s more of those stories being published and being able to read stories of Black people set in Manchester because it’s such a different culture to the US.
Has your sense of self felt quite consistent over time? Speaking to you, you seem very confident in yourself.
I think in a way, being different helps. Really I’m an introvert, but because I was always different I always stuck out. Noone’s gonna confuse you with anyone else, you’re always gonna be ‘the Black girl,’ so it made me try and find a sense of self earlier. I’ve had to go, ‘ok, let me create this identity for myself.’ Especially now, it’s stood me in good stead.
In another interview, you mentioned that you were keen to talk about passing from a UK perspective – why was it important for you to bring mixed characters into your work?
I think I’ve always been interested in mixed characters because I’ve not had the chance to read books with them until fairly recently. There are so many mixed people now, we want to share those different experiences. I feel like [being mixed] was seen as a shameful thing, historically, so now I guess it's about reclaiming what it means.
In terms of Lena [in Harlem After Midnight], there were two things that interested me. One was David Olusoga’s BBC series Black And British, where he put up plaques for historic Black personalities. He invited their descendants to these ceremonies, and some of them didn’t know they had Black ancestors. All the Meghan Markle stuff was in the paper at the time I was writing too, and a white friend said to me ‘can it be racist if she basically looks white?’ I got so angry.
When you look at the book Passing by Nella Larsen, there’s a danger there. One of the character’s husbands is super racist, if he found out that she was mixed-race he would probably kill her. It goes deeper than what you actually look like.
Obviously there’s benefits to having lighter skin in terms of colourism, but you still live on that scale, and people still see you as something other. I thought it was interesting to explore that. It was around the time that The Vanishing Half came out, which is a great book, but it’s very American. I wondered what it was like if you lived in London in the 1930s and you had that choice to make.
Lena’s very interesting because she doesn’t understand their own identity. She’s very confident, but not in who she is and her heritage. She’s got all these questions, so it’s fun to explore that alongside a murder mystery.
What’s the best thing about being mixed for you?
When you grow up different from people, you learn to take ownership of it and turn it into a positive. In terms of writing, you also have a point of difference. You’re writing stories that other people aren’t. These days, publishers want to publish something that's safe but with a different spin on it. I sort of fit in that niche. I like being a little bit different. I feel like I have more freedom because I was never in a box.
Can you sum up your mixed experience in one word?
Evolving. People's perceptions of what it is to be mixed race are always changing. How I talk about it is always changing. The more of us there are, then we start to recognise how different everyone is.
Buy Harlem After Midnight here. Next week, I’ll be talking to author Charlotte Gill. Subscribe to get Mixed Messages in your inbox on Monday.
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Mixed Messages is a weekly exploration of the mixed-race experience, from me, Isabella Silvers. My mom is Punjabi (by way of East Africa) and my dad is white British, but finding my place between these two cultures hasn’t always been easy. That’s why I started Mixed Messages, where each week I’ll speak to a prominent mixed voice to delve into what it really feels like to be mixed.