Nadine Merabi: “When I found myself, I stopped caring what other people thought”
The designer on flamboyant inspirations, developing confidence in her roots and the ‘other’ box
Hi, welcome back to Mixed Messages! This week I’m speaking to designer Nadine Merabi, who is of mixed Lebanese and English heritage. Nadine is known for her glamorous designs, never shy of a sequin, with A-list fans including AJ Odudu and Tina Knowles. You’ll also have spied her iconic feather-cuffed pyjamas on Instagram accounts far and wide. I loved speaking to Nadine about how her heritage has influenced her love of jewel tones and sparkles – read her story below.
How do you define your identity?
My mother was an English school teacher, she loved to travel in the school holidays. She met my father in Lebanon and they hit it off. At the time, he didn’t speak English and she didn’t speak Arabic, but they both spoke French.
We probably would have stayed in Lebanon if it wasn’t the middle of the civil war. At the same time, my dad got ill and needed proper medical care, so we all shifted back over to the UK around 1985.
Do you have any memories of Lebanon?
I've got really really nice memories because we’d spend every single summer back in Lebanon. For six weeks, we’d stay at a holiday complex – during the civil war, there was a rule that they wouldn’t bomb the outskirts of the country. You were unaware of what was actually happening in Lebanon at that time, with all the cousins, aunties and uncles around you.
How do you refer to yourself if people ask?
I like [saying] ‘half-Lebanese.’ I think people don’t know how to ask about me, they look and think I’m not fully English. I'm really proud to be half Lebanese. My father passed away when I was 18, so I want to keep his legacy and his heritage alive.
Aside from travel, how have you kept that cultural connection?
Food is a huge one for me. Lebanese and Levantine food is incredible. It’s not just the food, it’s the social aspect of sharing and chatting with your family all together. It’s not a quick dinner, they make it a big deal. That’s something that’s missed in this day and age.
Secondly, the richness of the country and the colours, and the way people are, the flair… My dad was so flamboyant, I don’t think I realised until I started designing that I had the same in me. When I was younger I hated it, I found it really embarrassing. I didn’t even enjoy my name because it’s different. Even though I didn’t have any issues growing up, you want to conform.
As I started getting older, I love the fact that I am different. I found myself a bit more and I stopped caring what other people thought. But when my dad would turn up at my primary school in Manchester, I felt like I was going to die. Now, I wish I’d have embraced it more.
So you feel like that flamboyancy has influenced your designs?
Subconsciously. When people see a Merabi, it’s got a handwriting to it – they can tell. Without me realising, when I started getting into design some of my favourite designers were Lebanese. Zuhair Murad and Elie Saab. As soon as I found out, I was like ‘oh my god, that’s why I love that style.’ It’s what catches my eye, it’s what I’m drawn to.
It’s the colours, the embellishments… We do a lot of custom made fabric because the quality of the fabric is what really shines through. My dad would take us to the souk when we used to go to Lebanon as children – it was vibrant, you got bombarded but it was brilliant.
Did you ever speak to your family about being mixed?
Growing up in Manchester, I was surrounded by so many different ethnicities. There were a lot of Asians at school, so it wasn’t really ever an issue. Also being into sport growing up, I think you’re accepted. I was captain of the hockey and netball teams, so I don’t know if it was that or the fact that I was friendly with everyone, but it was never really an issue. So no, I never spoke to my parents about it.
Do you have the conversation with your children?
Definitely. One thing I feel is a shame is that the kids have my husband’s surname – Merabi is so much cooler! But I let him have this one, I win every other battle in our marriage.
As they grow up, I’ll be showing them pictures and involving them with the cuisine and the clothing. They’re surrounded by beaded dresses and brightly coloured rich velvets. My husband is from Birmingham originally and he has a really interesting background too.
I haven’t been back to Lebanon to see my family in a while, but I’m planning to take the girls out there. What a great opportunity for them to say ‘I've got family in a different country and I can experience this and stay with them.’
Do you find there are any stereotypes around mixedness? How do you want the conversation to develop?
I think we should talk about it. It’s about giving confidence to people to be proud of where they’re from and who they are. I used to feel a bit lost, but as soon as you get your confidence, all of a sudden you’re proud and you’ll tell everyone ‘I’m half-Lebanese.’ A lot of it is just making it normal.
The only thing I never knew how to answer was when you have to tick which box you are. There wasn’t ‘half-Lebanese,’ so I’d always just be ‘other.’ I can’t explain it, but having that as a word probably isn’t the best. You really don’t have a description other than ‘other?’
What’s the best thing about being mixed for you?
The culture, my passion to design and have flair and try something different. To step outside the box and not necessarily conform in my designs. When I started this, I thought about toning things down, but if you wear Merabi and walk into a room, I want everyone to look at you. I think that is quite the confident Lebanese personality that I got from my father.
Can you sum up your mixed experience in one word?
Empowerment. The reason I’m doing this today is to empower people in the way they feel when they’re wearing Merabi. It’s in many ways, through clothes, through confidence and just being proud of your heritage.
Shop Nadine Merabi here. Next week, I’ll be speaking to comedian Janine Harouni, who is currently on tour – get your tickets here! Subscribe to get Mixed Messages in your inbox on Monday.
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Mixed Messages is a weekly exploration of the mixed-race experience, from me, Isabella Silvers. My mom is Punjabi (by way of East Africa) and my dad is white British, but finding my place between these two cultures hasn’t always been easy. That’s why I started Mixed Messages, where each week I’ll speak to a prominent mixed voice to delve into what it really feels like to be mixed.