Sian Gabbidon: “I was seen as Black at school because I wasn’t white”
The founder on mixed positivity, Caribbean food and her open mind
Hi, welcome back to Mixed Messages! This week I’m speaking to Sian Gabbidon, who is of mixed-Jamaican and white British heritage. Sian is the founder of loungewear and swim label SIANMARIE (the new collection has just dropped in selected George at ASDA stores) and was the winner of The Apprentice in 2018. I was keen to see how Sian’s heritage influenced her career in business, as well as how her parents raised her to think about her mixed identity. Read Sian’s story below.
How do you define your ethnicity?
I say that I’m mixed-race, but I’m absolutely fine with being referred to as Black. I grew up in a very white area, went to a white school and was one of the few mixed or Black pupils. At school, I was seen as Black because I wasn’t white. I’m proud of being mixed-race.
Has that always been the case?
Yeah, I grew up in a white environment but my dad was always around. My parents always told me about my heritage and roots, so I always knew who I was and was proud of it. We never had the conversation about my race holding me back, we always focused on the positives.
In primary school, I didn’t really see myself as anything - I didn’t see colour. Then in secondary school, I realised people saw me as different. I was now ‘the Black girl’ or ‘the mixed-race girl.’ When we read John Agard’s poem Half-caste, I felt awkward rather than like people were learning from it. In some lessons we watched Roots and it was so intense that I just wanted to leave the room. I didn’t feel like everybody was connecting the way I was.
Did you speak to your family about this?
Because of racism in high school, it was a key topic for us. My mum would say, “do not let people say things to you, you’ve got to stick up for yourself. Be proud of who you are.” Because my parents aren’t mixed, they couldn’t identify with me exactly, and I haven’t got siblings, so there was nobody super close to me who I could share that side of things with.
Was there a lot of Caribbean culture in your life growing up?
Food has always been big in my life, if we went to my nana’s she’d be cooking chicken and rice. I sadly never learned to cook Caribbean food, but it’s something me and my partner, who is also mixed, would want to introduce to our future children. We’d want them to understand where they came from and their culture and traditions.
How has being mixed affected your career in business?
Well I’ve never gone to an interview and seen myself as anyone other than the best person for the job. My parents instilled that in me, the idea that if I applied myself, I can do anything I put my mind to. I’ve never allowed myself to think my colour is going to stop me, although there might have been times when it did and I didn’t know about it.
Now, if I’m employing staff, I don’t care about their name, race or religion - I’m only interested in if they’re the right person for that job. I think being mixed has made me more open-minded.
Did you ever look up to anyone mixed growing up?
In my field, definitely not. That’s why I’m glad to be in the position I’m in now because I get a lot of messages from young girls who say they can relate to me. They get to see me, a mixed-race woman, or woman of colour, in a role they might be interested in. I’m glad I can be that person for them - representation matters.
What’s one of the best things about being mixed for you?
Having two families! I’ve got my mum’s side with traditional British meals and my dad’s side with chicken and rice and mac and cheese. I’ve had such a varied upbringing, and I’ve got a good perspective and outlook on life. There can be negatives to being mixed, but for me there’s always been more positives. I don’t want to be more like one side or the other, I’m quite happy being in the middle, although being mixed-race is its own thing in itself.
Can you sum up your mixed identity in one word?
Non-judgemental.
Shop SIANMARIE at George at ASDA now. Next week, I’ll be talking to one of my youngest ever guests, actress India Brown. Subscribe to get Mixed Messages in your inbox on Monday.
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Mixed Messages is a weekly exploration of the mixed-race experience, from me, Isabella Silvers. My mom is Punjabi (by way of East Africa) and my dad is white British, but finding my place between these two cultures hasn’t always been easy. That’s why I started Mixed Messages, where each week I’ll speak to a prominent mixed voice to delve into what it really feels like to be mixed.