Tarah Gear: “I love that as a person, you’re never the finished article”

The children’s author on making other people comfortable, leaning into her heritage and regeneration

Jun 07, 2022

Hi, welcome back to Mixed Messages! This week I’m speaking to children’s author Tarah Gear, who is of mixed-Mauritian and Welsh heritage. Her new book, Just Like Grandpa Jazz, follows Frank and his grandpa Jazz. As Jazz packs for the airport, he tells Frank stories from his Mauritian culture, echoing those Tarah heard herself growing up. Read more of Tarah’s experiences below.

How do you define your racial identity?

I’m half-Mauritian and half-Welsh, and I refer to myself as mixed-race. I grew up in Saudi Arabia too, so that often confuses people.

When I talk about [my ethnicity], I feel like it’s often for other people, to make them more comfortable and understand where I fit in the world. That’s a bit messed up.

In a dream world, without those people looking at you, how would you describe yourself?

I think having parents that come from different places and are different races would come into it, but I’d probably start with the things that make me, me; my job, that I write stories, I’m a mum… there are so many things that come along in life, particularly in a woman’s life, that evolve and shape your identity. I love that throughout my life, I’ve had so many different chapters and experiences that have shaped me just as much as where my parents came from.

I’ve always assumed that growing up in a non-white majority country would ease any racism – but I guess it depends on the circles your family moved in. How was it for you?

I think racial disparities can be more pronounced because you’re with white expats from America, the UK and Europe. I remember seeing families with maids who were often from Somalia, the Philippines and Sri Lanka, and thinking “oh my god, my dad is the same colour as your maid. If that’s the way you treat your maid, what does that mean for me?”

It was very important where you came from, because everyone had come from somewhere. I feel a little bit of shame that I chose the path of least resistance and would talk more about my white family than my family in Mauritius. As you grow older, you lean into different aspects of your heritage because you have the confidence to do so.

Why was now the time to write Just Like Grandpa Jazz?

I’ve always been proud of my dad and his rich Mauritian heritage. My son looks white, so no one will ever ask him what his heritage is. Will that make him less likely to want to talk about it? I don’t know. I wanted to highlight somebody like Frank, who on the surface doesn’t look like he’s mixed.

The book evolved from me wanting to connect my son with his heritage and tell his grandad’s story to now highlighting different people’s experiences and types of families, and that there’s no straightforward way of classifying people.

What’s the best thing about being mixed for you?

I feel like being mixed is a huge privilege. It can make you a child of the world, and I love that feeling of being free and liberated. When I was younger, I felt like I had to align. Now, I don’t have to align myself anywhere, which gives me permission to be me.

I went on a bit of a journey after 2020. I really realised my privilege. There are so many things about me that will evolve over time, and I love that as a person, you’re never the finished article. I think every cell in your body regenerates every seven years, and I love that you’re a completely new person. Maybe that mindset comes from being mixed – I do feel like a bit of a chameleon who can adapt to things.

If you could sum up your mixed experience in a word?

Fluid. There’s something about being mixed-race, a woman and going through different stages in life. I’ve completely embraced the idea of self-growth and development. Being mixed-race when I was younger meant the way I explained myself, now it means a really comfortable place where I can sit and be free.

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