Tillie Amartey: “I never struggled with identifying with one side more than the other”
The actor on having patience, forging her own culture and knowing exactly where she comes from
Hi, welcome back to Mixed Messages! This week I’m speaking to actor Tillie Amartey, who is of mixed Ghanaian and white heritage. You might have seen Tillie on Waterloo Road, playing pupil Stacey Neville, or jiving her way across the Strictly Come Dancing dance floor in 2023’s Christmas special. She is a bright, positive presence in this conversation and I’m excited to share Tillie’s story below.
How do you define your identity?
I’d say I’m mixed-race. My dad's Ghanaian African and my mum's English Irish. I went to quite a Catholic school and there wasn’t a Black dinner lady, teacher, anything. It was an interesting experience for me, and I still carry those hang-ups across into later life.
What were those hang-ups?
In primary school, I got in trouble for not tying my hair up for PE even though other girls had their hair down. The teacher tried to give me a tiny hairband which I knew wouldn’t work. I was so young, it traumatised me and made me feel so naughty.
Fast forward to high school, when I started to get involved with boys I remember being one of the only mixed-race girls in my year and not being fancied. People would insinuate I should go out with the Black guy in our class, just because he was Black. Bear in mind I didn’t even know his name. On a night out when I got chatting to a white guy, he said “I wouldn’t have thought I was your type.”
I remember when the rap and grime scene started coming out at school and Fredo started rapping about mixed-race girls, then the boys started to look a bit sideways at me, like they wouldn’t mind experimenting with me.
What has your connection been like to Ghanaian culture?
I've been back to Ghana, I've sat on the bed that my granddad was born on. I’ve got a house in Ghana and I’ve seen the slave castles. It was eye-opening.
We also learned about different tribes and their body shapes, and knowing what tribe I’m from helped understand my body and know that I’m never going to look another way. Even if I only ate lettuce leaves for the rest of my life, I’m still going to have quite a large backside. You have to embrace it, otherwise, what’s the point?
In your BBC Newsround video, I loved what you said about never having that push and pull between cultures but being excited that you got to create your own.
I’m balancing both sides. All props to my mum, because as much as I’ve grown up with a white mum, I’ve grown up around a lot of strong mixed-race women. My auntie Mel [B, of Spice Girls] has always been proud to be who she is. It never felt foreign to me as I was exposed to it from so young.
Do you feel that having that grounding in your identity has made you more confident in who you are as a person?
Yeah, it has. I’m very resilient, life is a sink or swim situation, isn’t it? I used to never want my hair to get too big, it’s almost like I didn’t want it to get too mixed-race. Now, I’m like ‘the bigger the better!’ I’ve had to grow this resilience through time. Those kids at school, I don’t want to stop and talk to them now. With the career I’m in as well, the bigger my success, the bigger my example of being mixed-race and inspiring other young girls. There are still these pockets of people that exist, but I’m glad of the positive movements we’re making.
How should the conversation around mixedness develop?
I don’t get annoyed if people don’t understand mixedness, because it’s not spoken about enough. As much as it's not our job, it is our job to educate.
We shouldn’t be put on a side. I’ve had some of my friends identify more with their Black side and call people ‘white’ because of how they act – I feel like people judge you. Even if I went to the polo on the weekends and played chess, I might be listening to Bob Marley while I’m playing.
My mixed-race story is completely different to yours. If I was from a predominantly white area, don’t assume that I’ve got a white mindset, and if I’m hanging around with a lot of Black people, don’t assume I’ve got a Black mindset. I’m right down the middle, like Warburtons 50/50 bread. I never struggled with identifying with one side more than the other. I actually sometimes feel confused why I was never confused. I think it comes back to knowing exactly where I'm from. Not just the idea of it, actually knowing.
It’s been amazing to see, from doing Mixed Messages, that you don’t have to be confused about your identity.
I would never label myself confused in terms of my race. When these things happened to me at school, I’d backtrack to being in Ghana and be like ‘That's okay, they're just not seeing this part of life.’ Anybody that didn't understand I would just think, ‘so you've not been exposed to that kind of lifestyle.’ If you never leave your street, how on earth are you meant to know about these things unless you're genuinely interested in them? That’s why I’m quite patient with people.
What’s the best thing about being mixed?
People skills. I’m a chameleon, I could be at The Ritz or down the shop getting jollof rice. It’s being able to navigate people and their mindsets.
I understand a lot of different cultures and I’m able to connect to people. I think I’m this middle ground – it’s not rules or religion, it’s just being able to read a situation and know how to act quickly. You don’t cartwheel in a library, do ya? I’m still being true to myself and what I value, which is being positive and kind, but enough to respect somebody else’s scenario.
Can you sum up your mixed experience in one word?
Priceless. How cool is it to experience so many different aspects of life in such a positive way? That's a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Catch Tillie in Waterloo Road. Next week, I’ll be speaking to For Black Boys Who Have Considered Suicide When The Hue Gets Too Heavy actor Albert Magashi. Subscribe to get Mixed Messages in your inbox on Monday.
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Mixed Messages is a weekly exploration of the mixed-race experience, from me, Isabella Silvers. My mom is Punjabi (by way of East Africa) and my dad is white British, but finding my place between these two cultures hasn’t always been easy. That’s why I started Mixed Messages, where each week I’ll speak to a prominent mixed voice to delve into what it really feels like to be mixed.