Donia Youssef: “Being mixed has developed me as a person”
The author on her rollercoaster experience and never quite fitting in
Hi, welcome back to Mixed Messages! This week I’m speaking to Donia Youssef, an author and producer of mixed-Egyptian and white heritage. Donia grew up around the Middle East before moving to the UK, and felt a lack of stability in the cultural and religious spaces she inhabited. Read Donia’s story below.
How do you define your ethnicity?
I’m half-Egyptian, half-English. I was brought up in the Middle East and we moved around a lot because my dad was in the army. Even though I was a similar skin colour to people in Abu Dhabi, Dubai and Bahrain, I felt alien. People would see me as a Westerner and say my dad shouldn’t have married my mum. The kids at school could be quite nasty – I felt like I never really fit in.
Did that change when you moved to England?
We moved to a predominantly white area. People thought I was Indian - no-one really understood my mix. When I moved to London at 17, it was a lot more multicultural and I realised that some areas of the UK needed a lot more education.
Did you ever speak to your parents about your identity?
I was brought up to treat people equally, the way you would like to be treated. I was always taught that people are different, too. With my mother being Catholic and my dad Muslim, I was grew up quite confused about religion and I never felt stability.
My dad’s family also didn’t want anything to do with my mother because she was white. I never had family gatherings with both sides together.
How are things in your own family?
My children, who are mixed-St Lucian too, have started questioning things. My daughter came home crying one day because people at school said she looked like a sheep, and another asked if she could be spray-painted white.
How does your mixedness impact your work?
I’ve written books on difference and acceptance, so what I do now is deliver useful tools to educate kids. The more influence there is for the younger generation to see that it’s ok to be mixed or different, the better.
What do you think is unique about being mixed?
Being mixed has helped me as a person, and has opened me up to understand that there’s more than one view on things. It develops you as a person. I think all the experiences I’ve had in my life, mixing with various people and understanding people’s diverse thought processes, enabled me to communicate on various levels.
You can also be a lot more open and less judgemental. It’s easy to adapt to different situations.
Can you sum up your mixed experience in a word?
Rollercoaster.
Next week, I’ll be talking to Wahala author Nikki May about her own experiences and how that influenced her debut book centred on mixed-race protagonists. Subscribe to get Mixed Messages in your inbox on Monday.
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Mixed Messages is a weekly exploration of the mixed-race experience, from me, Isabella Silvers. My mom is Punjabi (by way of East Africa) and my dad is white British, but finding my place between these two cultures hasn’t always been easy. That’s why I started Mixed Messages, where each week I’ll speak to a prominent mixed voice to delve into what it really feels like to be mixed.