Laurence Mozafari: “I don’t know where the parts of me come together”
The editor and podcast host on finding his place in the mixed conversation
Hi, welcome back to Mixed Messages! This week, I’m speaking to Digital Spy Editor-in-Chief and Time Of My Life podcast host, Laurence Mozafari. Laurence is of Iranian and white-British heritage, but has never had a connection with his Iranian heritage, making his mixed identity complicated. Read more about his experience below.
How do you define your ethnicity?
I’d normally say White British slash half-Iranian. I don’t speak a lot about my heritage, and some of my friends don’t even know I’m mixed. I’ve been mistaken for Italian, Greek and Spanish before.
Iranian people tend to see it in me – I’ve even been woken up on the bus before with someone asking me if I was Iranian. It’s brilliant that people recognise it, but because I don’t know a lot about Iranian culture I can’t talk to them about it and I feel like a fraud.
Why haven’t you felt connected to your Iranian identity?
I don’t have a relationship with my father, who is Iranian. He left when I was young, so that side of my culture is tied to someone I have no connection with. I was raised by my white British mum and her family, so it catches me off guard a bit when someone asks if I’m Iranian as I sometimes forget that I am. Once, someone told me that I was mispronouncing my own last name.
The closest I’ve come to Iranian culture is the food. I cook from Sabrina Ghayour’s recipes, and I also discovered that I love typical Iranian flavours while at a Persian restaurant a few years ago. I wonder if that’s a coincidence or if I’m reading too much into that.
How does it make you feel when people see that you’re Iranian?
I don’t know enough about the culture, the country or the people to speak about it with any authority, so I’m mindful not to overstep my mark. I do want to explore my identity, so I’ll probably start by learning about Iran, and then understand how being mixed comes into that.
Did you look up to anyone Iranian growing up?
There weren’t many Iranian or Persian celebrities, except Omid Djalili and Kayvan Novak. I realised there were famous Iranians and it triggered something in me. Omid is incredibly British, as well as playing up to Middle Eastern stereotypes in his comedy.
I also listen to the BBC Global News Podcast, where I heard about Salome MC – she’s broken a lot of boundaries and that’s incredible.
Do you think the way we speak about mixed identity needs to change?
Nuanced conversations about colourism are only just starting to happen. I loved the BBC documentary with Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Race, Pop & Power. On that, a group of Black women spoke about colourism in the music industry and how that affords privilege.
What’s the best thing about being mixed?
I tan really well! But my mum has olive skin, so it’s hard to know what side of my family that comes from. It’s cool going to Italy and people thinking I’m Italian, but I can’t speak Italian, then when I say I’m Iranian, I still can’t communicate with Iranians. Maybe in a few years I’ll have a better answer, but I need to learn to love it first.
Do you not love it?
I’m more neutral now than I was. Growing up in a predominantly white school, I didn’t like it. I used to have a more pronounced Arabic accent when I was very young, I think because of the language being spoken at home, and at school I was bullied for being ‘foreign’.
Being mixed is hard for me, because for some things, I don’t know if they’re a mixed people thing, or a me thing. I’m confused, and I don’t know where the parts of me come together. I’ve always thought of myself as white, raised in white communities, and it can be a minefield to talk about race, especially if you’ve not had these conversations before.
Can you sum your mixed identity up in one word?
Confused. I’m at such a loss, and there are barriers to embracing that side of me. It’s so personal and I’m not sure how I feel yet. But I want to have a healthy balance with it one day.
Next week, I’ll be talking to sports journalist and founder of BCOMS and Football Black List, Leon Mann. Subscribe to get Mixed Messages in your inbox on Monday.
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Mixed Messages is a weekly exploration of the mixed-race experience, from me, Isabella Silvers. My mom is Punjabi Indian (by way of East Africa) and my dad is White British, but finding my place between these two cultures hasn’t always been easy. That’s why I started Mixed Messages, where each week I’ll speak to a prominent mixed voice to delve into what it really feels like to be mixed.
I really appreciate the interviewee's honesty - that the mixed experience in the world is often one of great confusion. I struggle with this myself and hope to someday feel more confident in my identity. Thank you for showing the reality that many of us don't have it all figured out yet. It's a process.